Desi Immigrant Life a.k.a 'Dil'

'Dil' means heart in Hindi. This topic is very close to my heart and so I am going to start writing a blog about this topic that I have been living for at least 18 years now! For those who know any South Asian language or culture will know what a 'Desi' means. For others here's a simple definition: Desi is a noun 1.a person of Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi birth or descent who lives abroad. Wikipedia writes "Desi [d̪eːsi] is a loose term for the cultures, and products of the Indian subcontinent or South Asia and their diaspora, derived from the Ancient Sanskrit देश (deśá or deshi), meaning Land or Country."Desi" countries include Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan and Sri Lanka. Aside from the subcontinent, there are also large Desi populations in Trinidad and Tobago, Australia, Canada, Fiji, Guyana, Malaysia, Mauritius, the Middle East (Saudi Arabia and the UAE in particular), New Zealand, Singapore, Suriname, the United Kingdom, Caribbean, and the United States, among other regions".

Phew! Now that you know what I mean ;) I was pushed into becoming a 'desi' in the sense that I did not call myself 'desi' when I was back home in India. There the connotation of the word 'desi' is very different. In fact back home 'desi' is used as an adjective, meaning 'uncouth' or 'indigenous'. When applied to food of drink it also means unadulterated or pure like in "desi ghee (clarified Indian butter)" or 'desi daru' meaning country liquor!

In a few days after landing on the US soil, each and every 'desi' becomes aware of their 'desi' identity. First however 'fair' you considered yourself back home, you suddenly become aware of your 'brown' skin and 'dark' hair and petite figure compared to the 'big' Americans around you. Even though you have seen umteenth number of American films and TV shows and you think you understand all kinds of American accents and dialects, you suddenly catch yourself looking at people's lips when they are talking and saying 'umm..?' asking them to repeat what they said..because talking to a real white or black American person for the first time is an 'earful'. I remember ducking behind my husband the first time I went to the grocery store and the clerk asked me something. I just didn't understand her. Thank Lord, my admission to an American University for Ph.D program had happened on paper! I had to learn' American English' as if it was a new language altogether! Let alone Indian English. My American classmates here at the University were not even used to British English. The first few days they looked at me and expressed surprise that I even knew English (Most Asian foreign students that they met from China, Japan Korea) were also English as second language learners. So when they came to know that in India many kids school from preschool to college in English, they stopped asking me if we went to school on elephants;) !

Another firsts that takes some getting used to a 'desi' is the way Americans talk. They look you straight in the eye, talk clearly and loudly with full confidence. They talk, laugh, do everything freely. First few days I was asked to talk a bit more loudly. In India social faces are generally poker faces. If walking on the street we smile at a stranger that would be considered weird or crazy. Here, especially in the Midwest part of US, smiling at the stranger is a norm. Greeting strangers 'good morning' or 'good day' is considered good manners. Now when we visit India and automatically say' thank you' to an auto rickshaw driver, he smiles back as if we are joking.

There are so many things that strike us 'desis' when we come here for the first time. Though there are desis everywhere all over US, still seeing another brown face in the supermarket or a park, makes you turn around at least once to get a look at that familiar person. A desi generally does not smile at another desi 'easily'. If you enter an elevator with another desi, they ignore you as if you are going to ask them for their money;) I don't know what it is with friendliness and desis. Of course, the complexity is immense, for e.g., it is easy to talk and befirend a desi belonging to your own country, language, religion, region of India you come from and so on, not to mention the social status. We desis carry these and all other cultural stereotypes, facts and habits with us. Irrespective your educational status these factors heavily weigh in on who you befriend. I would love to explore all these complexities and idiosyncrasies of 'American desi' life with you all. This is just the beginning....You know what they say;) 'you can take a desi out of South Asia but you cannot take South Asia out of the desi'!! And it doesn't stop here. As awe raise our kids in this country, we try our best to instill our 'desi' values in them. Let's talk about all these 'fun' issues in this blog. Would love to read your take on this post. So write....and stay tuned for more.

#immigrantlife #family